Programming Primate

Star Trekking

Wednesday, 13 May 2009 08:10 by bendaniel

Last night we saw Star Trek at the cinema. I loved the film. Great plot, acting, etc. I only have two problems with it.

<spoiler-alert>

The first is with a little bit of poetic license they’ve taken with the science of black holes. Apparently when a sun going super-nova gets sucked into a black hole it gets crushed into a singularity but when a star-ship goes into a black hole they get hurtled back in time without a scratch. Phew! I just had some minor scratches on my car fixed recently and that was expensive enough - I can only imagine Eric Banner’s relief when the black hole didn’t write off his space ship! They probably cost a bit more than a 04 Magna!

</spoiler-alert>

But I can deal with the black hole thing, I mean how many sci-fi flicks are scientifically accurate? But the thing that really gets me is bloody J.J. Abrams and his fetish for blue lights! I mean we all like blue lights on things right but Abram’s love for them is unnatural! If you’ve ever seen an episode of the TV sci-fi series “Fringe” you may know exactly what I mean. You can’t go one episode of watching Fringe without there being a scene where there is glare from a blue light shining on the camera. It doesn’t matter if it’s dark at night or in the middle of the day. Apparently glare from blue lights is all around us in daily life, although the actual source of the light itself is conveniently out of our view. At first I thought it was mysterious and wondered what it meant, then I thought it was accidental and they just had some amateur lighting technician on the set who kept accidentally pointing a big, blue light at the camera. But now I’m convinced that Abrams is a big blue light whore as Star Trek is filled with them! Even in scenes where there are no phasers firing, stars going super-nova or vintage car’s pointing their headlights directly into the camera, you cannot go 30 seconds without light filling the picture.

Just check out these images I pulled from the trailer! Here is a frame that I was going to photoshop and cover with exaggerated white light.

Spock

But it turns out I didn’t have to because a couple seconds later in the trailer a mysterious bright light flooded this scene anyway!

NOT Photoshopped! 

This is constantly happening through the movie and drives me nuts. I’m sure Abrams thinks shining a torch into the camera every 30 seconds is subtle and artistic but to me he’s breaking the forth wall. Every time he does it I remember I’m not a star ship officer in the cool future with flying cars, holodecks and sexy robo-chicks but rather just a nerd watching star trek. Damn you Abrams!!

Categories:   Happenings | Musings
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The half-life of chewing gum

Friday, 25 April 2008 17:22 by bendaniel

I was in a long car trip the other day chewing on gum and wondering to myself if chewy gum is biodegradable. I like to think so as then I feel comfortable in spitting it out the window. I am strongly against littering and would never throw trash out the window unless it was food like an apple core that I know would quickly degrade outside and only if I was on a highway. I rarely go wild and hit the streets throwing apple cores at random pedestrians in town!

So I'm in two minds about chewing gum. On one hand I'm lead to believe that it does break down. Sometimes you can chew on a piece of gum for what seems like forever and it's still a chewy mass with no sign of breaking down - but I can tell you first hand that if you're dumb enough not to spit the damn thing out after a couple hours of it tasting like a wet wad of kitchen paper, then it eventually liquefies! I've been stuck in a church service before chewing on a piece of gum - I really wanted to spit it out but had no where to put it and didn't want to walk out in the middle of the sermon as I felt that would be rude. So eventually the damn thing liquefied in my mouth and I was no longer chewing but trying not to swallow/gag on this awful liquid that was occupying half my mouth while waiting for the sermon to finish. Well, you may have noticed on the back of some chewing gum it says "Excess consumption may cause a laxative effect" - they weren't kidding about that and I ended up decidedly power-walking my ass as quickly outta there mid-way through the sermon after all - heading straight for the gents!

So getting back to the point, that experience suggested that gum does break down. But on the other hand, having done my share of helping move pews and tables around at church events I am all too familiar with the feel of gum lodged under a table/seat - you feel something under your fingers that just doesn't feel consistent with the rest of the table so you feel around some more until you realise you're fondling a ball of pre-chewed gum! Thankfully, I've rarely stumbled across a "fresh" one that was still moist, which leads me to my next point - that most of them were petrified! Those things were so rock hard that I swear you couldn't chip 'em off with a jack hammer!

So maybe it all depends on the right environmental conditions for it to either break down or remain solid. I guess I'll continue to spit them out the car window along the highway either way. They'll either break down from the sun & rain and all will be well with the world OR they'll fossilise trapping some of my saliva and leaving a chance of scientists thousands of years in the future finding it and being able to extract my DNA and bring me back to life! No doubt on a remote island theme park the future scientists would create a whole bunch of me but make me all girls so none of us could do it and get each other preggers in the wild (we'd all be lesbians - sweet!).  ...but life would find a way. <queue the Jurassic Park theme music> Dah daaah, dah daaaah, dah dah daaah dah dah dah daaaaah....

Categories:   Musings
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Phobias

Friday, 25 April 2008 16:08 by bendaniel

They had a segment on Sunrise (a breakfast TV show) this week where they were talking about unusual fears and kept mentioning a lady who has a fear of buttons. I immediately thought, any minute now they're going to say "and here she is!" and start interviewing one of our friends who has this very fear! I figure the fear is so unique that it could only be her! Then I started thinking "I can't believe she didn't tell us she was going to be on Sunrise"!

But to much disappointment and surprise they later said that she lived in the UK - okay not her. Later still in the show they said that someone else had emailed in about their small child who also has a fear of buttons saying that their bed has a blanket with buttons all around the edge and because of it their son will never come into their room to talk with them and instead insist on yelling down the hall from a safe distance, lol.

Wow, I was so surprised to learn that at least 3 people in the world has this phobia! It's even got a name (though I would probably swallow my tongue if I tried to pronounce it): "Koumpounophobia"!

I think I'd like to have an irrational fear that's unique enough to make me special but common enough that it has a name so I wasn't a complete freak, lol. I figure lots of people probably share my completely rational fear of aliens jumping out of dark hallways and probing me and that it's likely already got a name (Probeuphobia?) but maybe I'm unique with my fear of going to the toilet, being half-way through my business there and having a frog jump out from under the toilet rim! Eyew - I shudder just thinking about it! That fear is deeply rooted since it actually happened to me as a kid living on a farm house - it literally scared the...well you know the saying!

Anyone else care to share an unusual / irrational fear they have? Just leave a comment. :)

Categories:   Musings
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